Hello there,
Please have a heart and think about my predicament. I have too much time on my hands to do anything useful with my life, hence I am writing something that will hopefully turn into a chain forward (that is, if you are actually as stupid as I think you are). I dislike fast and efficient computer networks, and I like nothing better than to slow and clog them up, so I think writing chain letters is a good way to spend my time.
So please forward this letter to everyone in your mailing list. DON’T LIE TO ME, YOU SICK BASTARD, I KNOW YOU HAVE A MAILING LIST AND YOU USE IT TO FORWARD MAILS FOR THAT POOR GIRL WHO HAS BEEN SUFFERING FROM LEUKAEMIA FOR EVER.
Every time you forward this letter, Microsoft, the United Nations, AOL are all going to contribute ten cents to my beer fund. (I might have said that I suffer from some truly dramatic disease, but the only disease I do suffer from is boredom and headaches induced by deleting chain letters, so I thought I should just be honest and call it my beer fund).
While we are at it, you know what else happens if you forward this mail to ten people inside five minutes, another twenty within the hour and finally a hundred by the time the workday is over? Well, you get booted by that guy/girl/dog/sheep you have been stalking and fantasizing about for weeks. (I assume, of course, that you know a hundred people, you might just have a hundred email IDs in your mailing list which actually correspond to maybe five real people with no lives.)
And if you don’t forward this mail as I tell you to, you get raped by a crowd of mutant mountain goats who will be singing hiphop as they hump you. Your soul rots in a Master’s programme for ever and ever.
Oh, and by the way, if you haven’t already joined Orkut, Gazzag or Facebook and created a crowd of electronic friends with whom you share the completely insignificant facts of your useless life, please join all of them.
Please have a heart and think about my predicament. I have too much time on my hands to do anything useful with my life, hence I am writing something that will hopefully turn into a chain forward (that is, if you are actually as stupid as I think you are). I dislike fast and efficient computer networks, and I like nothing better than to slow and clog them up, so I think writing chain letters is a good way to spend my time.
So please forward this letter to everyone in your mailing list. DON’T LIE TO ME, YOU SICK BASTARD, I KNOW YOU HAVE A MAILING LIST AND YOU USE IT TO FORWARD MAILS FOR THAT POOR GIRL WHO HAS BEEN SUFFERING FROM LEUKAEMIA FOR EVER.
Every time you forward this letter, Microsoft, the United Nations, AOL are all going to contribute ten cents to my beer fund. (I might have said that I suffer from some truly dramatic disease, but the only disease I do suffer from is boredom and headaches induced by deleting chain letters, so I thought I should just be honest and call it my beer fund).
While we are at it, you know what else happens if you forward this mail to ten people inside five minutes, another twenty within the hour and finally a hundred by the time the workday is over? Well, you get booted by that guy/girl/dog/sheep you have been stalking and fantasizing about for weeks. (I assume, of course, that you know a hundred people, you might just have a hundred email IDs in your mailing list which actually correspond to maybe five real people with no lives.)
And if you don’t forward this mail as I tell you to, you get raped by a crowd of mutant mountain goats who will be singing hiphop as they hump you. Your soul rots in a Master’s programme for ever and ever.
Oh, and by the way, if you haven’t already joined Orkut, Gazzag or Facebook and created a crowd of electronic friends with whom you share the completely insignificant facts of your useless life, please join all of them.
3 comments:
Ha ha, this should be sent to every person who sends a chain mail.
i agree with pp
do fwd to every compulsive fwd-er you know
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