Sunday, September 09, 2012

Removie

So here I was living through the Long Dark Teatime of the Soul - when Removies popped into the mind. What are Removies, you ask? Simple - pick a film title, remove one letter, make up a caption for the new title. So.. here goes:

  1. Wall (from Wall-E) - a docudrama about the reunification of Germany
  2. Cap Fear - a terrifying tale about the truth behind Bodmin's (bonus points for Ukridge and Wodehouse) 
  3. SumDog Millionaire - a canine with wicked math skillz brings untold riches to his master.
  4. U Forgiven (from Unforgiven) - a man commits a heinous crime and his victim texts him to say that everything is cool.
  5. Mad Ma (from Mad Max) - pissed off ex-suburban mom drives a muscle car in post apocalyptic Australia (largely indistinguishable from Australia)
  6. Raveheart - all this rebellious Scottish youngster wants to do is party!
  7. Fat Five - Enid Blyton's Famous Five finally get a big screen adaptation, except that they move to the States and subsist on a diet of burgers and soda - with sad, but predictable results, proving yet again that the colonies know shite all about running their own affairs.
  8. Dawn of the DEA - when the cartels had too much power, the Man sent in the Feds!
  9. The Princess Ride - this one, unfortunately is not for minors.
  10. Carface - Chris Bangle makes a movie.
  11. Kill ill - a documentary crew accompanies the brave people of Doctors without Borders on a humanitarian mission.
  12. Oodfellas - Doctor Who must stop an interplanetary crime syndicate.
  13. Even Samurai - a meditation on how much it sucked to not be rich and powerful in feudal Japan. Often compared to Kurosawa's 'Seven Samurai'.
  14. Rear Widow - NC17, enough said.
  15. Toy Tory - action figure of a British Conservative Prime Minister rounds up the other toys, imposes a poll tax and attacks Argentina.
  16. Rainspotting - a NatGeo documentary about some wishful people living in the Kalahari.
  17. Transformer - a PSA about power thievery by ConEd.
  18. Transformers2: Revenge of the Allen - when octagonal screwdrivers attack!
  19. Transformers3: The Dark Side of the Moo - a documentary about the fast food industry.
  20. The Evil  DEA - this time the cartels make a movie.
  21. Spider Ma! - a kid has arachnophobia.