shopping - a male perspective

Shopping: a male perspective.

The desh has not been a market driven economy for decades. I was lucky enough to grow up at a time when malls and multiplexes were still a distant nightmare. We had shopping complexes which were a few hundred shops crammed into something the size of a matchbox. We Indians have long mastered the art(no sorry, the physics) of suitably twisting space so that we can fit more people into a given room/building/city/country. And got dragged there by my ma as a kid. I hated those places. As in loathed and despised from the bottom of my heart. But did I have an option? Nope.

Anyway, cut to may years later. In college, on my way to being independent. Dragged to shops by friends. Guys buying stuff is simple. Pick the right colour = 2minutes, find one of the right size = 1 minute, checkout = 2 minutes. Thats it!! Girls shopping is an entirely different thing. Its educational. As in, prepares one for ordeals which involve infinite patience. My standard reaction to such shite was to stand outside the store and smoke. Here is a typical case study:
Gurle: 'Is this colour right?'
Me: 'yes'.
G: maybe something more.. summery?
Me: yes
G: I like this print, but isn't it a little loud? And It doesn't go with my skirt/pants/shoes/hair ribbon/handbag/cellphone.
Me: Ok.
G: This is definitely it!!
Me: Fine.
G: Oh no! Its too large.
Me: Ok.
G: Maybe that one over there. (pointing to something another customer is trying on)
Me: Yes.
..............(after some negotiation)
G: They just sold the last one they had in that colour.
Me: Fine.
G: You are not helping here!!
Me: Yes.

The problem with this situation is that after ten minutes my brain kicks into autopilot and I respond with a preset list of responses which are 'yes, fine, ok, that is lovely, of course it suits you, absolutely, perfect!!, yadda yadda yadda'. And then, I iterate through this list. But sometimes, I come up with the wrong responses. An example:
G: Does this make me look plump?
Me: Absolutely!!
G; What????!!!!!

Get the idea?