Sometime ago, I decided to finish each sentence with the phrase 'according to the prophecy'. That made conversations so much more interesting. Take an example.
Someone at the bus stop: Do you know when the #2 will be in?
Me: 7:15, according to the prophecy.
Someone in the coffee room: Where is the low calorie sugar?
Me: Low calorie sugar is usually in the cupboard, third rack, according to the prophecy.
Batchmate: So when have the scheduled the physics prelims?
Me: Sometime in early May, according to the prophecy.
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