Stupid things people do online.
Now don't get me wrong here. I am not saying that you shouldn't do whatever it is that you do on the internet. Fine by me. Its a free country the last time I checked. But what really gets my ire, makes me angry and want to reach out into the screen, grab your foolish head, pull it out and scream obscenities are chain forwards.
Type 1: Lame arse chicanery: “my baby is dying of cancer/leukaemia/cystic fibrosis/she has a tail cos I am an incestuous bastard(for reference read A Hundred Years of Solitude) and AOL/Yahoo/Google/Microsoft/IBM/my neighbourhoof panwaala has agreed to give me a cent for every time this mail is fwded.” It costs nothing to fwd it, and you, my dear simpleton go ahead and do so cos you have this big list of people whom you have never called/ written to in the last two years, but shite! You fwd stuff to them!! Get wise. There is no one out there tracking how many times the mail gets fwded. Think about it logically. If AOL or anyone else felt like giving a cancer patient money, they would just go ahead and do so. Sure, they would also milk it for all it were worth, but not by sending chain fwds.
Type 2: click on this or die. Detailed explanation typically comes with a pic of Diane/Lucy/Shweta whoever.. a normal college girl who pissed off an evil spirit who then ate/raped/killed her. If you don't want the same to happen to you, please click and fwd to your ten best friends. Again: what nonsense is this? Go see the Ring for reference. Such things may/ may not exist. I do not dispute that, but for crying out loud, don't fwd it to me. I am NOT your best friend.
Type 3: variation of type 2: click on this/fwd to ur best friends and ur heart's desire will come true. If you do this in ten minutes, you will be married to the female/male/horse/dog/alien of ur choice. If you do this in one day, the aforementioned creature will contact u direct. Again, for those people sad enough to require help from the God of the Internet to fulfill their heart's desire, please keep me out of it.
Type 4: the only passingly decent kind: typical numerology. Add/multiply/divide something by something so many times and watch the pattern in the numbers. Sometimes, this is interesting.
Type 5: the very worst. Answer the following questions related to colour choices/ numbers, write down the name of the person you think of when u read the following.. and go thru the list.. and such and such is the person of ur dreams, such and such is the person you will hate.. yadda yadda yadda... Again, why bother? If you feel the need for divine intervention in your daily affairs, go to your temple/church/mosque/gurudwara/synagogue whatever and communicate direct with the higher being (read God/Shiva/Buddha/Allah/Ra) of your choice. This is called “prayer”. Do not incorporate the internet in your daily worship to gain divine favour so that you can sleep with or stay awake with your favourite human/animal/alien. In particular, I do not care a rat's arse about your love life or lack thereof. Do not send me stupid brain dead forwards which ask me to do any of the above, or variations of the same. If you can find the time to write me a personal mail, I will surely find the time to answer it. If you cannot, then kindly delete my name from your fwds list.
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