So I ruined my co-worker's childhood

That is NOT what it sounds like. This is what happened - her brand new laptop is adorned with a purple snapcase. This, obviously, reminded me of the Phantom - you know, The Ghost Who Walks. This naturally led to a brief discussion of classic cartoons and after I was done explaining my views on some Disney and other classic creations - she told me that I had ruined the better part of her childhood. You snicker in mild disbelief? Well, then we must talk about them cartoons, right? Here goes:

1. Beauty and the Beast - Stockholm Syndrome
2. The Little Mermaid - where do we start with this - bestiality, perhaps? Also, once said mermaid has forsaken her kind and gone to live with the lung-breathers, do you really think that the mer-people are going to be okay with one-way sexual trafficking? And when they find out that nubile land-dweller princesses are not okay with the whole living underwater deal - it seems logical that the next CNN report will be on the ongoing war between us and the mer-people. Sure, we will depth charge the ever loving shite out of SOME mer-cities. But remember, 70% of the Earth's surface is water - and every new Hummer sold is giving up a wee bit of the land that remains. And also, that oceans are effin' deep. With lots of room to hide. To hide and rearm. And possibly awake the sleepin' pet Kraken. That should be fun. All because some arse couldn't find someone in his postal code to date and had to get the hots for a bloody fishchick.
3. Snow White - let us leave aside the central issue that beauty is apparently the ONLY qualification for being a central character in this universe (and many other fairy tale universes - but more on that later) - but Snow White is effin' dumb. Dumb like the lovechild of a Kardashian and a concussed troll. She could have lived a moderately happy life as a Dwarf housekeeper - but noooooo.. given half a chance, she has to walk straight into traps like poisoned combs and supertight corsets. Saving her gets to be a full time job for the Dwarves (seriously, when do they go about their daily jobs like mining Mithril, or whatev?) But what the hell is wrong with the Prince. He sees a dead chick in a glass coffin and has to have it/her. I mean - did your Mommy never teach you that necrophilia is a bad thing?
4. Cinderella - I leave it to your imagination to figure out what a society is like where a woman's worth is her beauty - easily measurable in how tiny and dainty her feet are. If you are unburdened with an imagination this NPR article about Chinese foot-binding should do the trick. Njoi!
5. Sleeping Beauty - Not necrophilia, but more like that scene in Kill Bill where the Bride sleeps in a coma for years while her body is used as a sexual plaything by all comers (My name is Buck. I am from Huntsville, Texas and I like to f**k). Yes, so Princess in a 100 year coma and a Prince has to go get the hots for her. Dude, that is gross. She prolly went to kindergarten with your great grandma. Also, for her, the wurlde has moved on - for generations worth. Will she ever be able to use a smartpheun?
6. Rapunzel - prolly created by Aveda's PR team

This is enough for now. But I must share my views on the Lion King - perhaps later.