This is the first of what will hopefully turn into a series and bring me the kind of fame which has so far eluded me, in spite of me being a fifty feet tall firebreathing dragon with an elven blade in my right hand, and a Shigemi tube in my left hand. Wearing RayBans. And a three wolf moon tee-shirt.
Anyhoo, the list follows: please add to it as you see fit.
Anyhoo, the list follows: please add to it as you see fit.
- Begin every third sentence with the phrase 'according to the prophecy'
- Respond to questions with a full throated 'you want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!'
- Rap out the thesis defence
- Liberal use of jazz hands
- Employ a mariachi band to provide accompaniment to the more intricate points of string theory/hard condensed matter/large protein studies
- Invite Robert De Niro as your 'special friend'. Failing that, Jack Nicholson. NOT EDWARD NORTON. NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
- Spike the coffee
- Have a friend dressed in a dark suit sitting near the back of the room taking down the names of people who come to the defense. Start a rumour that he is from Homeland Security/MI5/IB/BfH/Mossad/FSB/whichever security-intelligence agency calls the shots in your part of the world
- Reward your thesis committee members with candy for asking particularly tough questions
- Ask Jon Stewart to introduce you
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