cinematic crimes

i dont quite know who started the trend; it may have been subhash ghai with 'pardes', but once he got the ball rolling (or whoever it was), the bollywood people have had a greattime abroad. looking at the movies made in recent times, the classic 'gaon ki gori' has died a quiet and unremarkable death only to be replaced by the 'item number' babe. decent cinema has been trashed and what we have is govinda prancing down some boulevard in some obscure european town in a polka dotted shirt and yellow pants. i mean, i have been told that govinda is a decent bloke and pretty smart to boot. but think of this people: we have organisations who take care of human rights, children's rights, wimmen's rights (ok, so there is no organisation to take care of the rights of unhappy JRFs, but let us pass over that lightly..) so why is there no organistion which fines these 'superstars' (may their fuel run out and may the go to gravitational collapse) for inflicting their hideous sense of fashion on us?


yes, we indians are guilty of many many social crimes at home, and quite a few abroad as well, but surely govinda as our cultural ambassador is where we draw the line? well, not so. akshay kumar is almost as bad as the aforementioned great. this bloke thinks that wearing black is cool, a steven seagal wannabe. tell him that steven seagal looks like a demented vampire learning karate and akshay looks pretty much the same. the only people who wore black and carried it off impeccably are trinity, neo and morpheous. go figure.

and what is the point behind shortening one's names? makrand becomes mac?!!! yuck! ok, here is my point to the good akshay: is the scriptwriter has decided to call you makrand, it is because of some deepseated grouse he has. but the best you can do is to take it like a man. calling yourself mac and wearing black doesnt help. it merely underlines the deep pathos of your life. again, the only point (in recent times) where a name shortening was not awful was when siddharth became sid in dch. dch was a classic. face it akshay, you have never made a classic, and you never will. leave it to the people who can.

oh, yes, while i am at it, a small message to the bollywood community. there can be movies which lie somewhere in between 'auntie no. 1' and 'muhafiz'. why not try making some of those? there is an audience, trust me. for starters, get all those buggers who didn't see 'lakshya' and ram it down their throats. the indian audience must get out of kindergarten, or what i think has happened is that it has been demoted from middle school to kindergarten. i mean, look at 'sholay'. and look at 'ddlj'. i rest my case.

someone give rahul bose a chance to act. also try getting rahul, akshay khanna (not kumar) and aamir khan together in a farhan akhtar movie. the heroines don't count, they have stopped acting a while back and window dressing is all they are good for. but in case one needs a heroine, get preity and maybe sonali kulkarni(not bendre).